The Alzheimer’s Caregiver Ministry at FBCStarkville

"Those with dementia need not speak. Not even the disease's ravages can separate us from God's radical grace and love. We don't really know what turning to him looks like in deep dementia, but we can know that God doesn't require that we have the right words. He looks at what is within, at the heart. We may never know how the person hears him, whether as a still, small voice or gentle whisper deep within (1 Kings 19:12) or as a bright blinding light (Acts 9:3). Some mysteries will never be solved before we reach heaven and meet him face-to-face (1 Corinthians 13:12). But while we wait, God asks us to remember his promises and his presence, so that we can experience his peace that surpasses all understanding."

Benjamin T. Mast, author of Second Forgetting: Remembering the Power of the Gospel in Alzheimer's Disease

June is Alzheimer's and Brain Awareness Month. I am incredibly passionate about illnesses that affect the brain, but unfortunately, passion does not always lead to answers in this case. There are so many things about the brain that we don't understand and Alzheimer's is one of those illnesses that we have yet to find a cure for. If you have walked down this road, then you know just how helpless you can feel at times. For many, you watch a person that you love turn into a different person. Your heart is forced to be stretched in ways you didn't know were possible. If anyone knows this well, it is Brenda Lee. I reached out to her to find out how the Alzheimer's Caregivers Ministry at FBC began, how the group has been doing during the pandemic, and how the church can be the hands and feet of Jesus to this group.

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Brenda Lee:

"Cast all your care upon Him, because He cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7

The Alzheimer's Caregivers Ministry of FBC began on May 11, 2019. We decided we would meet thereafter on the second Wednesday each month after Lunchbreak at the Outreach Center.

Those church members who have been caregivers for loved ones with Alzheimer's for some time saw the need to share their experiences with others who had loved ones in earlier stages of the disease. The role of the caregiver can be very difficult and often affects the caregiver with feelings of isolation and abandonment. However, when friends show their care and concern or whisper encouragement like "I prayed for you today," it is very helpful and comforting.

As friends have become aware of the meetings, we would be asked what the meetings were about and what we did, so I want to share some thoughts about our activities.

We are looking for anyone who might be living with someone with Alzheimer's, anyone who is working as a caregiver, anyone who may suspect a loved one has the disease, or anyone else who simply wants to learn more. Our theme for our meetings is "You Are Not Alone." We begin our meetings with a greeting, then a time of prayer, and then a time of sharing about our recent faith-walk. Knowing our Lord and continuing to develop our relationship with Him makes all the difference in maintaining our health as caregivers. Caregiving for Alzheimer's can become a very long and hard journey.

Those attending the meeting will usually update us about their circumstances and where they are in the journey. No one is required to share if they do not desire to do so. There are times of joy, laughter, and times of tears. A unique fact about Alzheimer's is there are no two cases alike. Reference material tells us about three stages of different timelines with many changes in behavior. So, everyone has a unique story. Each time we have met, many in the group have expressed their need for this time together and have urged us to keep this going.

We have provided informational material, reference books, helpful ideas, and examples of sitter contact information. We have had regular meetings until the present health crisis came upon us, but we have been anxious to continue our schedule. We have maintained our connection via telephone with most of the group during these months and the group members have been very receptive to that. We have been planning to give educational opportunities to our church family about the disease and about how to support caregivers.

Here is an example of a personal sharing time in our meetings. During one of our first meetings, a new friend who had just become a part of our church fellowship told us her story. It began like this: "My mother had Alzheimer's and I was her main caregiver. She passed away a few months ago, and I want to tell my story today…" We listened very attentively and were pleased that she felt free to share with us. Later, she told us that our meeting was the first time she was able to grieve for her mom because she knew we would understand and care for her. It's true that only those who have lived with Alzheimer's can really understand what it's like.

If you know someone who is a caregiver, here are a few helpful ideas you might want to think about in reaching out to them. First, a simple telephone call with a suggestion that you would like to make a short visit would be greatly appreciated. Also, if it's ok with them, taking a warm casserole would be even more appreciated. In addition, a small gift, a card, or a text message reminding them "I prayed for you today" would also be very thoughtful and appreciated. These are but a few ideas that surely would mean a lot to a caregiver and could possibly arrive on a difficult day when their loved one keeps asking, "And who are you?" or "Do I know you?"

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Mary Todd:

That last statement of Brenda's carries a lot of weight doesn't it? I am a firm believer that the Holy Spirit brings people to our minds for a reason and how often do we ignore or forget to act on it? Is the Lord stirring in your heart to serve those affected by Alzheimers? Contact Brenda Lee at 662-312-7451 and let her know you would like to help. Do something to let them know they are not alone and see what happens. You may end up being just as blessed by it as the person on the receiving end.