This Is Our Hope

Photo by Kathleen Rodgers

Gina Gentry’s Story of Great Loss and God’s Great Love

"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
I Thessalonians 5:16-18

When I was asked if I would share our story, I hesitated. Although I have shared a little through Joni and Friends, it is not an easy story to share and it hasn't gotten any easier with time. One of the most common things I hear is, "I don't know how you do it." We do it the way we do all things, through Christ. He gives us the strength we need, the endurance only He can provide, and courage to face what we do not know. 

"I can do all this through Him who gives me strength." 
Philippians 4:13

What Satan meant for our destruction, God is using for His glory. Life continues to move forward. We cannot stop and watch it go by. My boys, the Lord willing, will continue to grow up and become men. I don't want them to look back on their childhood and see broken dreams and sorrow. I want them to see love, joy, and hope. We do not dwell in the past. We take our treasured memories and move forward too. We must do what God has called us to do. It is part of our testimony. We pray every day God will be glorified in all we do. 

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:16

God continues to pour his blessings down upon us through our FBC church family, through organizations like Joni And Friends, and through our family and friends. He continues to meet us right where we are. He's always been faithful.

Through the years of my childhood, my family faced many challenges and hardships. I grew up in a broken home with an alcoholic father. Uncertainty was a part of our daily lives. When I was 9 years old God showed up one Sunday in the form of a red and white school bus. The driver stopped in front of our house and invited us to church, where we were shown unconditional love. We felt safe.

Despite less than perfect circumstances, God never let go. Homes changed. Towns changed. Family dynamics changed. But God never changed. He continued to provide the way for me and my sister to worship and be filled with His Spirit in His house with His people.

I remember thanking God when I met Dodds. I knew that he was the one God had chosen for me. He was like my knight in shining armor. I was able to put the past behind me and live our happy ever after. We were married the same year my father died. Although he raised me to be strong and independent, when he knew his time on earth was ending, he wanted to be sure I was loved and taken care of. With his blessing, Dodds and I began a journey, for better or worse, for almost 26 years. After 14 years, God brought us a beautiful blessing in the form of a precious baby boy. JD was such a gift. He was so special, so kind and loving, that we knew we needed more. Then Jack and Joshua followed, and our hearts only grew more with each one. Each child brought their own unique personalities and talents into our family.

We were a "family-centered" family for which I am very thankful. Having been married for 14 years before we had children, Dodds and I had already traveled and enjoyed life like many do when their children leave the nest. So when our boys came along we really enjoyed time making memories together with them.

For our 25th wedding anniversary, we were planning a trip we had always dreamed of taking. The more plans we made, the more we realized we didn't want to leave our children behind. We decided to take the boys on a family cruise instead. It was a trip we all treasured and we made memories that will last a lifetime.

At no point would we have ever dreamed that this would be the last big family trip we took. See, it is never really ever about our plans but only God's perfect plan.

On November 6 of that same year, Dodds and the boys were headed to a Starkville Academy playoff game while I was at work that evening hosting an annual event. My cell phone continued to ring on my desk but I was so busy, I never even looked to see who was calling. It wasn't until they called the shop that I knew there had been an accident. As I rushed to the hospital, never could I have imagined what I was about to face.

When the coroner greeted me, I knew my life would never be the same. I then had the heartbreaking task of telling Dodds's mother and father that their only son was no longer with us, but home with Jesus. As his mother turned to be comforted in her husband's arms, I was taken to see my boys. I could not stop to even process the loss of my husband knowing that the lives of my children were still up in the air. I saw JD and Joshua, my first son and my baby, lying there in such critical condition, I was completely broken. To say God carried me would be an understatement. All I could do was pray.

They took me to see Jack next. His sweet little 9-year-old face showed such fear. My heart hurt for him. God had spared his body from harm but he had seen and endured so much. The minute Jack was released from the hospital in Starkville, some sweet, unrelenting friends drove as we followed his brothers to UMMC in Jackson.

Before the accident, each evening after I had prayed with the boys, JD would ask me to sing "I Surrender All." I would sing each verse over and over again until he was sound asleep. The words of the song weighed heavy on my heart as I held Jack on the way to Jackson. 

I remember pleading to God to heal my children. "Lord, I really don't want to surrender ALL. I don't want to surrender my family to you. You have Dodds, please don't take JD and Joshua too."

My story might be vastly different had He chosen to take all four on the day of the accident. Instead, I see His miracles. His first miracle was my precious Jack, free from physical harm. I clung to him. Holding Jack I could feel thankful even in the midst of such tragedy. We prayed for a miracle of healing for JD and God did heal him, in heaven. He is home and perfect and with his earthly and Heavenly fathers. In his death, his organs brought healing to many others. We altered our prayers for Joshua at that point and prayed for an earthly healing of his body and mind, and even today we see God working through him. Every day we see His mercies anew.

"Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:22-23

Time in the hospital really helps one to focus. Joshua was in the hospital for four months. During that time I watched families lose infants and small children. I saw broken families in broken situations. I saw children that were abandoned due to their disabilities. In times like that you find yourself being more grateful: grateful that I had a loving husband for almost 26 years, grateful that I was able to have JD for almost 12 years, knowing that he grew up in a home where he always felt safe and was always loved unconditionally. I was grateful that I could watch God's healing miracles in Joshua, where others weren't so lucky.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8:28

We could choose to focus on the hardships, the loss, the life with disability and uncertainty but instead we choose to focus on the blessings. We choose joy.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
Philippians 4:4

Life can be changed in an instant. Everything as you once knew it is different now. Not a different that you would have chosen—not in the least.

We recently passed the 4th Anniversary of Dodds and JD's home going. It's still hard. It is still lonely. It is still full of challenges we couldn't face or handle without Jesus. Sometimes the grief is so overwhelming it physically hurts. Through the years I have heard "the grief is so great because the love was so great." I am thankful that the love was so great. I am thankful for the challenges that life with a disability brings because it means we still have Joshua. 

Blessings are all around us. It is how you choose to see them. We can choose to see them through God's eyes or we can choose to see them through the eyes of the world. When we ride by the scene of the accident, instead of thinking about our tragedy, we choose to see it as the sacred spot where Dodds met Jesus. Where our Lord and Savior in all of His glory was there to escort him to his heavenly home. We choose hope; we choose joy. We rest in the fact knowing that God is in control and that he loves us wholeheartedly. Unconditionally. We are indeed blessed.

As I have shared a few of my favorite scriptures, in closing I'll share one of my favorite poems as well– 

God hath not promised 
skies always blue,
flower-strewn pathways 
our lives through.
God hath not promised 
sun without rain,
joy without sorrow, 
peace without pain.
But God hath promised 
strength for the day 
rest for the labor, 
light for the way 
help for the trials, 
hope from above 
unfailing sympathy, 
undying love.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that who so ever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life." 
John 3:16

This is our hope. This is our story.

God is still at work.

God has a plan and it's all good.